Every so often, a book comes along that is so impactful you want to share its message with everyone you know. The book has sparked conversation with colleagues, been mentioned in team meetings, and has even earned the praise of my 75-year-old mother. Crossing generations and both personal and professional boundaries, that book for me is “Let Them” by Mel Robbins.
The premise is simple but powerful: we cannot control what others do, and we should not try. In an era where the design industry faces shifting client demands, supply chain uncertainty, and the pressures of hybrid work, Robbins’ message feels especially timely. People will make choices we do not agree with. Colleagues will push back, clients will pivot in another direction, team members may leave, or friends may grow distant. Robbins’ advice is clear: Let them.
Emotional Intelligence at Work
At its core, the “Let Them” theory is about self-agency and emotional intelligence. It asks us to release the exhausting habit of trying to influence other people’s decisions. The second half of Robbins’ idea is equally powerful: “Let me.” If we cannot control others, the only choice is to redirect our focus to what we can influence: ourselves. Let me choose my mindset, reactions and energy. Let me define success for myself.
This idea is not just philosophical, it’s an important component of emotional intelligence. According to Harvard Business School, 71% of employers value emotional intelligence more than technical skills when evaluating candidates. TalentSmartEQ found that emotional intelligence accounts for 58% of job success, linking higher EQ with calm under pressure, empathy and effective conflict resolution.
A Design POP Perspective
This concept is not abstract for our field. Likeminded colleague, Alexandra Tseffos, Founder of The Design POP and Silent T Consulting, dedicated her monthly webinar to exploring how the “Let Them” theory connects to the design industry.
Tseffos reflected, “What started as a lighthearted conversation quickly turned into a powerful and personal discussion about what it means to let go of what we cannot control. From prioritization and professional boundaries to identity, expectations and even how we show up each day, vulnerability and honesty made this session truly meaningful.”
For dealer designers especially, Tseffos noted the pressure of constant demands such as deadlines, shifting lead times, tariffs, rendering requests and more. She stated, “It is hard to be good at everything while maintaining expectations inside and outside of the organization. Tips from the book can help with things like prioritization, personal agency and redirecting your energy in a productive manner.”
Her experience also reflects the vulnerability of creative leadership. “Since launching The Design POP in 2021, I create design training content every week along with a podcast which is a medium that I love and also can feel sensitive. Some of the topics are easy to portray and others require more finesse. As with every creative endeavor there is a moment of pause: Will others appreciate the intentions of my actions? The book helped me put words to a practice that I have had for a while: All I can do is my best and hope it is what is needed for success.”
Whether you are a designer navigating feedback, a rep juggling timelines, or a leader driving innovation in a cautious market, these moments disrupt our rhythm yet also invite us to refocus and move forward.
Choosing Clarity Over Control
“Let Them” is not a call to passivity, but to clarity. In a world where 75% of employees believe they face more job stress than a generation ago, according to the American Institute of Stress, choosing where we invest our energy can mean the difference between burnout and breakthrough. It does not mean ignoring problems or lowering standards; it means recognizing when to let go of what is outside our influence while acting with intention.
For designers and workplace leaders, our best work comes not from directing every outcome but from focusing our energy where it matters. By letting go of what we cannot control, we make space for resilience and creativity, designing not only better environments but better ways of working and living.
In the end, the message is simple:
Let Them. Let Me. Let’s Go.
Connect with Alexandra Tseffos or learn more about The Design POP.
Editor’s Note: Maria VanDeman, NCIDQ, Ind. IIDA, is an interior designer, published children’s book author, Director of Design Strategy at OFS, host of the Imagine a Place Podcast, and advocate for equity in the workplace. Passionate about people and purposeful design, Maria is dedicated to creating meaningful impact through environments, storytelling, and mentorship. Say hello and follow along on LinkedIn.